MY THOUGHTS (BEFORE) GETTING THE RESULT
Yesterday was a sad day. With the passing of Datuk Hasbullah Awang, a veteran sports presenter and Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the former Mentri Besar Kelantan in the same day, Thursday felt like a little bit gloomy than before.
The next day (today) which falls on Friday 13th 2015, it was the day for UiTM students' receive their examination result. Frankly speaking, I was nervous. I had a sleepless night, waking every hour checking my email inbox.
Around 5 o'clock in the morning, I woke up again and realized that I have received the long-waited email. I tapped the phone screen and the result popped up.
MY THOUGHTS (DURING) GETTING THE RESULT
I squeezed my eyes, adjusting my sight and stared at the grades with half-awake consciousness.
(The grades are purposely whitened)
I was shocked by the result. This semester's result was the lowest I ever had in my diploma and degree years. Barely passed 3.0 Purata Nilai Gred (PNG)! As expected, I flunked in valuation, academic project and third language subjects. Meanwhile, in a optimist point of view, I was relieved by the fact that I passed all subjects taken.
I whatsapp-ed the screenshot of the email and sent to Fathi and dozed off.
MY THOUGHTS (AFTER) GETTING THE RESULT
I was disappointed with myself for failing to do my best. I have the capabilities to excel but I wasted the gift by misbehaving and procrastinating. Deep in myself, I know that I can do it but I still let the mistakes repeated again and again from a semester to another.
It is one of the core subjects for estate management students which revolve the valuation of real estate field. I wished that I have done more practices on calculations!
Dealing with numbers has never been my forte because it requires intense focus and lots of working needed to be jot down to arrive the final answers. Deep inside in my heart, I believe that my bad experiences in doing silly mistakes while working on mathematic questions make me afraid to embrace number-based subjects. It makes me a quitter in a way, but to improve my life, I cannot be giving up in each obstacles faced ain't I?
I believe that THIS is my problem.
I told my friend about the problem and he stated that if I am eager enough to be a registered valuers, I have to overcome this problem by hook or by crook.
It is a final year project which requires us, the estate management students to do our own thesis and research about anything related to real estate. I have chosen the topic of Affordable Housing.
The fifth semester students need to complete their Chapter 1,2 and 3 and submit to their supervisors within 14 weeks. Due to my attitude, I took ONE exhausting day to finish up all the chapters. I expected that I will be failed for this subject but thankfully, my supervisor are really thoughtful and being considerate with me by passing me with the minimum grading.
Degree students are required to learn either Mandarin, Arabic, Japanese and French languages as their elective subject. I have chosen Mandarin due to its widely usage in Malaysian working industry.
Learning Mandarin is a eye opening experience. I realize that I can be so clueless about the words uttered by the lecturer and cannot comprehend the sentences. Due to my weak basic, the problem worsen and dragged me into absolute hardship in learning foreign language. Despite of mind blocking experience in the class, I glad that the attention capturing way of teaching of Wan Laoshi makes me not giving up with the subject.
I got a C for this subject.
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I read one of the chapter of Hajime no Ippo, a boxing manga which show Ippo, a boxer who is defeated in a world title match. Different from his previous matches, Ippo accepted his defeat and not giving any excuses for his loss. His trainer, the old man became speechless and asked Ippo to start from square one again.
In this chapter, the manga addressed the idea of accepting your loss without any complaints can be an absolute loss for a fighter. Sometimes, we need to come out with excuses for our losses, be in a denial state as it reflects our confidence that we can do a better job in different circumstances.
Total acceptance can be the mark of a dying will to make a great comeback.
My fellow readers, you can understand further the meaning of my explanation by reading the manga below. It is a manga, so it shall be read from right to left.
I am not defeated yet. In the upcoming session and eventually the last semester, I will use all my might to hit 4.00 PNG. Pray for my success. Thank you for reading.