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It has been a while since I posted an English entry in this blog. It is not that I am against the usage of the language as my language of the post, but I am using Bahasa Melayu as my primary language as I think I could express my thoughts better in my mother tongue language.

Maybe there are some of you wonder, what makes me post in English this time? It is so out of the blue right? There must be something special behind this kind of drastic change.

Well, the reason is because of I am inspired by my series of short conversations with my BEL311's lecturer, Mr. Zolkarnain.

Before I go on with my stories regarding the conversations, let me tell you first that in his class, I'm one of the emotionless members of the class. The first time I had class with him, he said that, I always make a sad face =.= Till now, I do think that is my normal face.

Anyway, he said that he has the passion in learning psychology. He once became a debater, had tried all things that a normal teenager could imagine. Honestly, he has my respect not because he is cool or whatever, but he is the second teacher in my life that I have to control my body language and way of talking. The first one is at my former school, the name of the teacher is also Zolkarnain, specifically Ustaz Zolkarnain. What a coincidence!

Back to the topic, being pretended as one of the quietest students in the class who is always sit in front row in the class, it helps me to minimise the showing of my very true nature. That situation makes him to always forget my name.

For a personal ice breaking moment with me, he asked me after I finished the questions given,

"Aziz, what year did you born?"

"1992," answered me shortly. I was waiting for his response yet he just said "OK," with a nod. Then, he went to aid my friend at the back.

Then, he gave the class questions to be answered again, he then asked me, "What do you like to do other than blogging?"

"Errr, I like to..," I was dumb strucked. I really don't know how to answer it back as for there is no single activity that crossed in my mind on that moment. Haish. 

It took me 30 seconds until I replied to him, "Em, I like to search for my true self. Er..What im trying to say is my real identity. Err... It is not soul searching, but something like that lah."

"True self? That's deep," answered him with an amazed *I think so* face. He then shared with me his story of him being in Turkey, he told that he once pick-pocketed which left him with only money worth of RM2 in Malaysia. Luckily, he still got his visa with him. He told me that he once worked in mental institution. He worked as a waiter and cleaner too. Just for gaining experiences. Then, he left again~

In my mind, I was eager to ask him for his reasons for his questions of the year when I was born on and my favourite activity.

Same like before, he asked us to do exercises given. I completed it fast and then, I purposely staring at his phone. Actually, I was quite nervous to start a conversation as I'm afraid that I would disturb him which on that moment, he was staring blankly on the desk.
My tactic worked when he made the first move to make a facial which shows the sign of starting a conversation.

"Sir, why did you asked me about 1992 and my favourite activity in the first place?

"About the year, I asked you because I was having some thoughts that I am now old compared to your age." His smile followed after the explanation. 

"For the activity, it was because I think we should explore new things, try everything as we could find our potential by doing that. I did a lot of things, at one period of time of my life, I have made quite some of money. For a year. And then I stopped. Just that. Stop,"

"As I just want to have a try. Right now, I'm trying to predict my future. Eh, it is not predict, it's like plan ahead."

"Speculate?" replied me doubtfully with a term I learned in the Investment class.

"Not speculate, trying to predict.. not predict, em, think ahead. 5 years from now. 10 years from now. Jews apply this concept you know?"

"Is it same like visualization?

"Yeah, visualization!"

"Like The Secret?" I opened myself a little bit to him.

"Law of Attraction." He gave other example.

"Or Do'a in Islam"

"Yup," He then added,

"In Ya sin, Allah stated that he will granted things that we always keep in our heart." said him with a innocent face.

He left me AGAIN for the third time. Sigh.

Later on, he asked, "Aziz, are you a serious person?" I already knew that sooner of later the question would spurted out from his mouth. 

"I don't think so," responded me quickly. "Who do you think the most serious person in this class?" His hand was pointing on the members of the class. 

I made a puzzled face. He then quickly asked, "Okay, who is the most quiet?"

The first person whom I thought was Fathi, my Kelantese friend.

"Fathi! Probably Fathi,"

After that, I imagined of Fathi who are being talkative with me due to the similarity of hobby of us in playing Dota. I swiftly corrected my statement in split second, "Eh, I do think he is talkative. Huwm, no one is quiet here. Maybe the classes in the morning makes the people feel tired at night. That's why I remained silent at class, as I don't know what to be said,"

For some reasons, we suddenly talked about myself. I don't remember how exactly we ended on discussing about myself. These were some of our conversations.

"Do you know Farouq? You have the same aura as him." I was lost at the moment, I still could not figured out what kind of aura. By the way, Farouq is a friend of mine in other class in the same course.

"What aura?"

"I can't actually find the right words how to describe it," he said it with a smile. He added, "Sometimes, something happened to us comes along with responsibility,"

Right after I heard the sentence again for third time in the class, I knew, at the moment, I have to ask him. My ultimate question. It must be asked once and for all. With a straight face and overwhelming curiosity, I bravely asked him, "Do you have a gift or kasyaf?"

He was quite surprised with my question. He laughed and said, "There is a student who used the same word and asked me before. Well, let it be a questioned mark thing okay?"

We ended our series of conversations there. I grinned wildly, I couldn't stop myself from keep smiling. I hit the jackpot. He have my full respect. I admit he is interesting and cool. Believe me, I'm not easily getting impressed with someone yet he succeeded.

That's it for today. Tata! Salam :)

P/S: Nowadays, I have to keep myself busy. If not, I would feel depressed for some reasons. May Allah strengthens me up :|

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